Diary: 23rd April 2018

The appointments been moved up; it’s tomorrow and I’m dreading it in some ways but in others, we just need to know.

They’ve said they *think* it’s FTD or Alzheimer’s due to his young age and primary issues with communication. Each (and all forms of Dementia) come with their own painful paths but our doctor even said “we hope [its Alzheimer’s]” as FTD has no treatment options and would progress much faster.. I guess we shall see what diagnosis we walk out with.

But I spoke to my Dad today and I can hear (and feel) how quickly his condition is progressing. Repeating questions, no knowledge of previous conversation, regular incorrect use of words and phrases and then the announcement; he’s just purchased himself a new alarm clock, that he has spent so much time trying to set up, to no avail. I can tell he’s upset, something so simple and that you can’t even blame on the complications of modern technology. He says the “paperwork is too small for him to read”. I don’t understand why there’s paperwork… I take a second and realise what he means to say is that the buttons, to adjust the time etc, are too small;

Let me walk you through this:

  • Paperwork = provides instructions and directions on how to set up things
  • Buttons (in this context) = provide a way to adjust settings and set up said alarm clock 

This kind of decoding of conversation is becoming more common than not. 
My very smart father, knows what he means – he’s not any less intelligent – he just doesn’t necessarily have all the tools to explain it in his previously impressive vocabulary.

This is a very sad but unfortunately – I’m coming to learn – a common fact of life for those with Dementia and one that I am slowly adjusting to. 

I just try not to forget that he’s still the same – he’s still in there – something I try to remind him every day. I will remind him tomorrow, no matter what. 

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